Tag Archives: abundance

Beginning Again!

Hi! I'm Margot!

Hi! I’m Margot!

In June of 2014, I joined a very interesting and knowledgeable group of people called Wealthy Affiliates. The group is made of people wanting to learn about making a profit on the internet. The lessons on the site were thorough and insightful. I learned how to build and publish a website on the internet! I did so and kept up with posting thoughts and ideas for a few months. Life, somehow, got in the way and I found myself so busy and distracted with other things, I lost my way and failed to continue the blog.

This past week, I’ve spent some time considering my life and what I thought was important. Spending the time researching my interests and recording my thoughts on them in a blog on my website IS important to me. Some people may think my blogs just a lot of rambling, but I know putting my thoughts down in a blog is cathartic.

I hope my blogs can benefit others and help them consider life and how they may help others live a fruitful life. I plan on beginning again writing thoughts and ideas, and sharing with others through the blogs on my website.

To Your Abundance!

Margot

www.Anabundantwoman.com

Hi! I'm Margot!

On Being An Assertive Abundant Woman

“The only healthy communication style is assertive communication.” ~Jim Rohn

There are many people, especially women, who confuse assertiveness and aggressiveness as one and the same, so they make sure they do not show assertiveness in their daily lives and instead come across as passive.

When you are being assertive, you are respectfully speaking up for yourself and what is important to you clearly and confidently.

Aggressive woman

Aggressive woman

On the other hand, when you are aggressive, you are attempting to exert your influence on another to get what you want in a disrespectful and pushy manner, often detrimental to the other person.

Some women might have been raised to set aside their needs and opinions in order to support and agree with others. Many women are very uncomfortable asserting themselves, thinking that by doing so, they are hurting the feelings of others, or fearing confrontation and rejection of their assertions. Since they don’t express their wants and desires, they end up being virtually invisible because no one knows what they really like or want.

Assertiveness is a skill that takes practice. It may always be easier for you to swallow your feelings, bite your tongue or give them the silent treatment, but assertiveness is a much better strategy. It works because it shows the respect you and others deserve.

Four Types of Assertions

1. Basic assertions are when you simply state your feelings, beliefs or opinions. These are normally ‘I feel’ or ‘I want’ remarks. These shouldn’t be difficult as long as you’re in touch with your needs or your feelings, and they are important enough to you to be voiced.
2. Empathetic assertions are usually in two parts, with the first expressing that you understand where the other person is coming from, followed by an explanation of your thoughts and feelings rights: For example:
‘I know you have been very busy, but I also want to feel our relationship is important to you. I want you to make more time for us.’
3. Escalating assertions are If the other person is not responding appropriately to you basic assertion, you have the right to become more emphatic. It could include some kind of ensueing action. For example:
‘If you don’t return my money, which I clearly stated was a loan, I’ll be taking legal action.’
4. I-Language assertions are three-part statements, and are useful for dealing with negative feelings. They can help you in effectively focusing and clarifying your feelings. It includes:
When you… (whatever it is you do)
The effects are… (explain how it effects you)
I’d prefer you… (explain what you want)

Practice these steps when you are needing to be assertive to get your point across or your wants expressed.

STEP 1: Start with making small requests

First, using a minimum number of words, be clear as to what you want so there is no confusion. Make a few small requests of others. For example, request that you be moved to a different table at a restaurant if you prefer one other than where the wait staff is directing you. Another example would be to ask the cashier for different denominations than you were given when you get change for a purchase.

Once you are comfortable with this, try stronger requests from co-workers, family and friends. Request assistance with chores you normally do yourself.

When at work, make requests of co-workers you would normally handle yourself.

Whenever possible, avoid using if, but, perhaps or maybe.

You’ll soon find you feel more confident and are able to voice your requests easily.

STEP 2: Learn to say “no”

The biggest reason people are afraid to say “no” is fear – fear of rejection, seeming selfish or hurting the feelings of the other person. Can you remember times that you wanted to say “no”, but didn’t have the confidence or courage?

Say No

Say No

Having the ability to say “no” clearly and confidently is a sure sign of a mentally healthy human being who is able to set boundaries.

It’s okay to say “no”! In fact, it is very important for your own mental health.

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” – Warren Buffett

STEP 3: Quit feeling guilty

Do you cringe if you ask the waiter to take food back to the kitchen at a restaurant because it was cold or undercooked? You paid money for this food that is not prepared to your satisfaction. You can kindly ask the server to take it back to be prepared as you wish.

If you have to turn down a friend’s request for a ride to the airport or train depot when your schedule makes it impossible to do so, do you feel guilty?

Possibly, you were taught that putting others before yourself is the right thing to do and makes you a bad person if you didn’t.

Using up your own time, effort and energy for others all the time does not make you a spiritually enlightened person. You can end up doing harm to yourself physically, emotionally and even financially. Taking care of yourself and your needs first instead of putting the needs of everyone else makes it possible for you to give your best to others when really needed. Sometimes that means saying “no”.

What Else Can You Do?

If you have issues expressing yourself in a manner that is far from being assertive, there are so many resources online that can help you learn to do so. A couple of books worth reading are

:
“The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships” by Randy J. Paterson

“When I Say No, I Feel Guilty” by Manuel J Smith

So, take some time this week to speak up for yourself and what you want. You are worth it and that’s important!

“We must teach our girls that if they speak their mind, they can create the world they want to see.”
Robyn Silverman

Thanks for reading! Please share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section below.

To your abundance!
Margot

 

 

Change Your Beliefs to Create an Abundant Life


“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” ~Buddha

Your mind not only controls all of the systems of the body, it also controls your thoughts and feelings. These thoughts and feelings come from the beliefs you hold in your unconscious.

How Your Beliefs are Formed

Your beliefs are the truths you feel about yourself and your life, and began forming when you were an infant, watching the actions of those you held as authority figures and in whom you trusted and learned from – parents, teachers, religions, musicians, peers, advertisements, etc.

mind-beliefs

mind-beliefs

As a child, your mind was a sponge, absorbing all you saw and heard from authority figures. Although your parents may have done the best they could in raising you correctly, they could only pass on the beliefs they had as parents, many of them based on fear. “Don’t expect too much out of life, you’ll only be disappointed”, “Rich people are greedy and selfish”, “You have to work hard all your life if you want to save/earn/have money”, “Money is at the root of all evil”, “You must be beautiful to be popular”.

For those children whose parents did not try to do their best, or thought negative reinforcement would help them in the world, beliefs were even rougher… “You’re not good enough”, “You’ll never amount to anything”, “You’ll always be (fill in the negative word)”.

As your unconscious mind absorbed the lessons from the words and actions of these authority figures, your brain forged neural pathways in which these beliefs were then held.

Freud said, “We learn as children how we react emotionally and this is carried into adulthood.

The Mind

mind

mind

There are three parts of the mind, the conscious, the subconscious and the unconscious.

Conscious mind – This is the part of your mind that is aware of what is currently happening around and to you, along with some specific mental functions.

Subconscious mind – Also called the pre-conscious mind. This holds the available memories and information you can become aware of once your direct your attention to it, i.e., how to get home from where you are, phone numbers you frequently use.

Unconscious mind – This consists of the primitive, instinctual wishes as well as the information that we cannot access. During our childhood, we acquired countless memories and experiences that formed our beliefs and who we are today. However, we cannot recall most of those memories.

Your Beliefs Affect Your Abundance

“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.”
– Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

Every decision you make in your conscious mind has already been affected by your unconscious. If you have self-limiting beliefs regarding a decision, it matters not what you decide, the outcome will not have the positive affect you may desire. Your repressed, unconscious mind will do anything to give you exactly the experience of your limiting belief!

Limiting belief

Limiting belief

If you have negative beliefs about money, your life experiences will match those beliefs. If your beliefs tell you that you do not deserve a happy, loving relationship, you’ll be more prone to find partners with whom you cannot find happiness. If you want a healthy body and lifestyle, but your limiting beliefs are that you are sickly, that is the experience of life you will most likely have.

Your unconscious will protect, censor and dictate your life, so that it becomes a perfect match to your internal, true beliefs and sabotage your desires and actions toward abundance.

Through your actions or behavior, you make things worse instead of better. Instead of doing, being or having the best, you eventually find yourself settling for less. It is certainly not desirable if you are hoping to live an abundant life. If your belief is that you are you a “victim of circumstance”, that is how you will live out your life and never become a master of your destiny.

You are the creator of your life and are orchestrating everything that happens to you by your core beliefs and ideas about life.  Change your beliefs and expectations, you will change your life.

My next post will be on ways to permanently change your self-limiting beliefs. Do you have ideas and suggestions on how to do that?

Thank you for reading!  Until next time…To your abundance!

Margot

Living Abundantly by Giving Abundantly

Far too many people pursuing a life of abundance through the Law of Attraction are doing so for purely selfish reasons.  I will be the first to admit, I began this journey with the LOA largely because of what I could get out of it.  Although I have always wanted to be able to help others, I sought a life of abundance to fill a void. My largest concern was how to make my life more comfortable; mainly, so I could find more enjoyment and fulfillment relationally and materialistically.  I didn’t completely ignore the spiritual aspects of it all, but it was not anywhere near the top of my list.

As I began this new journey though, I was forced to look inward to find the true source of discontent. That’s when I realized the times I was happiest and most fulfilled were the times I knew I had helped others in pursuing their lives of fulfillment. This is not the type of help in which one loses themselves and their sense of self in the process, but of giving that of which they have an abundance. In return, even more abundance is returned.

Giving of Yourself Abundantly

Giving abundantly can take many forms, from the smallest gesture to the largest commitment.  Giving of yourself and what you have brings a glow to your heart.

Glowing Heart

Glowing Heart

Did you smile and thank the cashier and bagger at the grocery?  Did you allow the car in the next lane to merge in front of you?   When was the last time you visited a retirement home, or have you ever?  Have you considered donating time to Meals on Wheels?  If you belong to a church, are you active in their charitable events?  Do you donate clothes or furniture, or do you find it easier to set it all out with the trash pick-up?

I do not have the ability to drive anywhere at any time, but I found I could give my support through an online prayer group.  Even though I am not a religious person, it matters not.  I believe there is a higher power.  Call it God, The Divine, The Universe…prayers, thoughts and intentions are sent, received and answered. There are over 100,000 members in this prayer group.  Can you imagine the effect those prayers have?  Reading some of the messages of thanks brings tears to my eyes.

It Doesn’t Take Much Money to Make a Difference

When I began donating, I couldn’t afford much.  I found that with a few dollars, I could put a Thanksgiving dinner on a family’s table.  I could help feed the homeless that went to a church or shelter for a hot meal on a cold night.

Have you donated money to any charities – international, national or local?  Do you drop your extra change in the Salvation Army bucket during the holidays?  Do you buy those little flags from the AmVets table when it is set up outside the grocery store?  How about supporting the Red Cross when disaster strikes…or before is even better.   There are SO many legitimate charities, from local to international.  Chose one or two, if that’s all you can afford, more if you can do so.  Your heart will truly glow, knowing you are doing what you can to help those less fortunate than you.

Any sort of giving is the perfect way to make you more grateful for what you have.  It will truly make you feel abundant.  And, when giving unconditionally starts to bring more abundance into your life as a way of thanking you, share more.  The cycle has begun, and you will surely be a better, more abundant woman for the giving of yourself and what you have to share.

What have you shared, contributed or donated lately?  Didn’t it make you feel wonderful about doing so?  Share you stories. I would love to read them.

Margot

Creative Visualization for Abundance and Success

By Margot Huff – When it comes to abundance, creative visualization is so very important.  Without it, being able to attract abundance into your life is practically impossible.  Creative visualization can help you improve any area of your life with which you feel needs improvement.  You will have, do and be better at anything you visualize.  You’ll attract new, inspiring people and opportunities into your life. This really is a life changing practice….and it starts with your imagination

Creative visualization is using your imagination to visualize the life you want to create. There is nothing new or unusual about creative visualization. You already use it daily; in fact, every minute of every day. It is the power of imagination, the basic creative energy of the universe, which you use constantly, whether consciously or not.  In the past, we have all unconsciously used our power of creative visualization.  Because of the negative concepts about life which have been ingrained in us since childhood, we have automatically and unconsciously expected and imagined lack, limitation and difficulties to be a big part of life; and that is exactly what we have created for ourselves.girlmeditatingonthesunset_0

The Difference Between Daydreams and Creative Visualization

When you daydream, you are experiencing pleasant visionary distraction of the mind; a  mild, wishful creation of the imagination, a pleasant fantasy, and that is as far as it goes. Comparing a daydream to creative visualization is like comparing a fluffy little kitten to a fierce lioness. Creative visualization goes so much further.  With creative visualization, you need to completely immerse yourself into this projection from the imagination and infuse it with positive emotions.  As with meditation, you should find a quiet place away from all distractions.  Once you have the visualization in your mind, include as much sensual vibrancy as you can.  See the deep blue sky, hear the birds chirping, smell the orange blossom, feel the soft grass beneath your feet.  The most important of this visualization – infuse it with deep, positive emotions.

With  your imagination, you can “rewire” your subconscious to help you become happier, healthier, more creative,  abundant and confident;  or achieve almost any other goal  for which you aim.  Your subconscious mind is so powerful, it can help you live the life you’ve always wanted — a fulfilling life  with success, happiness, excitement and so much natural motivation that you jump out of bed every morning, thrilled to be alive, and revitalized by the inspiration of achieving your biggest dreams…  abundant dreams that you deserve.

How Creative Visualization Works

There have been over 200 studies showing that visualization improves everything from your memory to physical skills and productivity…and that’s just the start.  Because the use of you imagination “feels” real to your nervous system, creative visualization works quickly to impact you at the subconscious level.  What that means is that you can use it to intentionally and effectively improve any and all areas of your life.

Success and Abundance with Creative Visualization

Creative visualization can help you improve any area of your life.  It can help you attract the experiences and success you need to achieve abundance, even if you seem to attract lack and scarcity, or sabotage your efforts to improve your life.  It will help you attain enormous gains in abundance and success.  And it’s so much easier than you could ever imagine!

Have you used creative visualization in your life?  What positive and abundant successes have you had with it?  How do you feel it can be used to make your life more abundant? Leave a comment below and share your experiences.

Margot